Thursday, February 10, 2011

Things No One Tells You

I actually meant to say all this on my last post, but forgot.

When getting engaged and being prepared to be married, there's a lot no one mentions to you. I don't know if it's because they don't think of it or they don't think it's important, but there were noticeable things I noticed once I became engaged and, from talking to others, everyone has also had these.

#1: The night you get engaged, you can't sleep. I'd moved that day. I was tired and worn out, yet I kept lying in bed thinking, "I'm so tired. Go to sleep." This continued until 3 in the morning, then started again at 4. Apparently this is opposite for the men though. Parker said he had a hard time sleeping in anxiety for that moment and then, when it was over, slept like a rock. Him proposing was also a complete surprise for me, so maybe that affected it.

#2: Planning a wedding is stressful. As much as you hope it won't be and as much as you think you have planned, it's stressful. Partly because of number three.

#3: EVERYONE has an opinion. Even those who tell you to make your own decisions and not listen to other people, will tell you what they think. Sometimes it's a good thing because they're right, and sometimes they're not so you run the risk of offending them because you don't take their advice.

#4: Brides get nervous once the realization of an impending marriage sets in. For me, I've prayed about Parker for a long time and knew I'd be happy with him. But it's a big, scary step, full of unexpected stresses and costs and responsibilities. Luckily, a couple days after you start feeling nervous, you realize that you can do it. You can do it together! You do what you have to do to be successful with your family. So then you feel happy and excited all over again.

#5: Last one: People will treat you differently. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. Single people will kind of treat you like you're not one of them anymore, and married people will begin treating you as an equal. It's kinda cool because you feel like you're leveling up in life, but it's sad to, in a way, lose many of the single friends you've had along the way. Maybe they feel weird because you'll be getting married soon, or maybe they're jealous. No one will tell me what it is, but it's definitely there in 80% of people.


  1. The list applies again once you are pregnant: sleeping changes due to anxiety, it is stressful because you don't know so much and everyone is trying to tell you stuff and you realize that motherhood is impending, finally a reality and then people treat you differently for entirely new reasons.

    Hang in there kid, it has only just begun.

  2. Good things to know :) But I will try my hardest not to treat you differently. You're friend to me :D