Thursday, February 10, 2011

Things No One Tells You

I actually meant to say all this on my last post, but forgot.

When getting engaged and being prepared to be married, there's a lot no one mentions to you. I don't know if it's because they don't think of it or they don't think it's important, but there were noticeable things I noticed once I became engaged and, from talking to others, everyone has also had these.

#1: The night you get engaged, you can't sleep. I'd moved that day. I was tired and worn out, yet I kept lying in bed thinking, "I'm so tired. Go to sleep." This continued until 3 in the morning, then started again at 4. Apparently this is opposite for the men though. Parker said he had a hard time sleeping in anxiety for that moment and then, when it was over, slept like a rock. Him proposing was also a complete surprise for me, so maybe that affected it.

#2: Planning a wedding is stressful. As much as you hope it won't be and as much as you think you have planned, it's stressful. Partly because of number three.

#3: EVERYONE has an opinion. Even those who tell you to make your own decisions and not listen to other people, will tell you what they think. Sometimes it's a good thing because they're right, and sometimes they're not so you run the risk of offending them because you don't take their advice.

#4: Brides get nervous once the realization of an impending marriage sets in. For me, I've prayed about Parker for a long time and knew I'd be happy with him. But it's a big, scary step, full of unexpected stresses and costs and responsibilities. Luckily, a couple days after you start feeling nervous, you realize that you can do it. You can do it together! You do what you have to do to be successful with your family. So then you feel happy and excited all over again.

#5: Last one: People will treat you differently. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. Single people will kind of treat you like you're not one of them anymore, and married people will begin treating you as an equal. It's kinda cool because you feel like you're leveling up in life, but it's sad to, in a way, lose many of the single friends you've had along the way. Maybe they feel weird because you'll be getting married soon, or maybe they're jealous. No one will tell me what it is, but it's definitely there in 80% of people.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Anxiously Engaged!

I have a lot to tell everyone so I'll start from the beginning.

In April of 2007 I started dating a guy named Parker. He was awesome. We graduated, I went to college, and he prepared for a mission.

Fast forward to December of 2010.

I was preparing to go teach English in St. Petersburg (that's in Russia) for spring semester. I was scheduled to leave January 25th so I decided to spend my last month at home with family, friends, and (of course) Parker. I moved home December 16th and he said he wanted to take me on a date.

We were planning to get engaged when I got home from Russia, get married in the summer (yes, it would have been a quick engagement) and both go to Utah State in the fall.

Back to the date. We were going to go to Temple Square, get something to eat, and go our separate ways; but, things never turn out as you might think.

He was late picking me up because his uncle's car had broken down and he also needed to go to Salt Lake so Parker came to get me in his dad's nice car (that's important to the story later) with his uncle in the backseat. We had a great time just chatting until we got to Parker's aunts house to drop off his uncle. Liz is awesome, so we went in to say hi. Upon leaving, Liz told us that Temple Square was probably closed at this time of night (it was around ten). She was right.

So, we picked up a hot and ready pizza at Little Caesar's and ate while we drove home. He asked if I wanted to watch a movie at his house, I said yes. When we got to his house he got out and he stood in front of his garage. I got out and threw the box away.
He said, "Come here, I want to hug you."
I said okay and hugged him, kissed him, and started walking away to go inside.
"Come back! I wasn't done hugging you yet!"
"Okay," I said as I turned around and went back to him.
"You make me so happy."
I smiled at him. "Good. That's all I want is to make you happy."
He smiled as he released me and said, "I know this isn't how you expected it, but I don't want to wait anymore."
He got on one knee and opened a Kay Jewelers box with a simple, white gold, band inside.
I stood there shocked for probably two full minutes. This was the last thing I expected. I thought I had at least seven more months!

My mind ran a mile a minute, though not really getting anywhere. I knew I was supposed to say something but I couldn't think of any words! Finally I said, "Of course!" and threw myself into his arms again as he stood up, smiling.

We hugged for a minute, I got a little choked up, and then he said, "Let's go tell people!"

Turns out that a few weeks before this, Parker's dad had told him, "When you propose, you can use my car". So when Parker asked for the keys his dad said, "So it's tonight, huh?" :)

We planned to get married July 30th and even had the temple scheduled. Then we crunched some numbers and realized that we could not afford for me to go to Russia. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made because I'd been looking forward to it for so long. However, I realized that my family (Parker and I) was more important to me then Russia, so if what I needed to do was not go, I would do what I had to. I haven't looked back. I have no regrets on not going.

We're now getting married April 16th in the Draper temple and I've never been so happy, excited, or felt more safe and loved than I have for the past two months.

I have been truly blessed with an amazing fiancee, a good family, and a fantastic future family of in-laws.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us!